I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
