jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
