I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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