This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
