I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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