I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Terrible idea I love it
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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