the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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