And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
