we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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