I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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