you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize