yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
