Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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