So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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