everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
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