The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
