He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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