The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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