How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
