Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i permit you to call me
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
