Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
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