Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize