my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
