people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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