He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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