i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
