so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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