Umm I'm too high to move.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
