i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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