is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize