Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize