so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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