I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
