If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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