Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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