My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
