So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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