um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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