you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
