I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
