pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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