I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
