Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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