After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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