Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
