even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
