is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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