if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Duck Duck Cougar?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
