Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Randomize
