I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
