3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
whose parrot is this?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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