Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
