Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
