READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Randomize
