the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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