forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
third nipple confirmed
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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