I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
