Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
