I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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