Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Randomize