woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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