Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
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