Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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