Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
