3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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