Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
