Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
