dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
