; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
