im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
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