you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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