i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Randomize
