Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
