Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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